There are numerous factors that influence the amount of sexual pleasure you can have, especially when another person is present. Your mood, stress levels, menstrual cycle stage, and, of course, your relationship with your sexual partner all work together to set the tone for your sex life.

Whether you’re having sex with a committed partner, a fun fling, or somewhere in between, the dynamic between you two is undeniably crucial in how much you get out of your sex life. Many factors contribute to that dynamic, including your expectations for each other and the relationship, how much you enjoy each other’s company, and, most importantly, trust.

Trust and sexual pleasure are inextricably linked. This may seem obvious, but there’s much more to the word “trust” than meets the eye. So, how does trust manifest itself in our sexual lives, and how can it be increased within a relationship? Let us investigate.

Understanding Sex and Trust

What comes to mind when you think of the word “trust” in the context of relationships? Keeping promises? Being able to trust someone? What about physical and emotional security? All of these are essential components of relationship trust, but there’s a lot more to the story.

Trust is more than just being able to rely on someone. On a deeper level, trust is the subtle ability to be completely present with someone. When you have a high level of trust in someone, you can bring your whole self to the table. Trust allows you to feel at ease with your partner; a different level of relaxation adds to pleasure and enjoyment.

Have you ever heard of a pleasure gap? It’s a term that describes the phenomenon in heterosexual relationships in which women are much less likely than men to orgasm regularly. Numerous factors contribute to this, the most significant of which is how women are treated in society and historically.

The female body usually requires a sense of fundamental trust and safety to fully open and relax. And while orgasms aren’t everything in sex, they’re certainly enjoyable. They not only feel great, but are much easier to achieve when you have a high level of trust in the person with whom you are having sex.

It Isn’t you, It’s Me

If you don’t completely trust your sexual partner, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are “untrustworthy,” but that you don’t feel comfortable completely opening up to them on some level. That doesn’t mean either of you is at fault, but rather that something in the dynamic is off.

When your sex life isn’t meeting your expectations, it’s easy to blame your partner or yourself, but it’s no one’s fault. If you’re having difficulty developing deep trust with a sexual or romantic partner, it could be due to unresolved traumas from any age. These events cause a disruption in your ability to connect with people on the level you desire, particularly in sexual or romantic relationships. A lack of trust is frequently caused by internal issues that manifest themselves in your relationship and, of course, your sex life.

Trust Takes Time to Develop

Even if you’re confident in yourself, trust doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to develop the level of trust that is often required for you to enjoy the type of pleasure you desire. When you devote time to nurturing this aspect of your relationship, it begins to foster a sense of safety and security. This, in turn, allows you to fully open up to this person in every way.

It takes time to build sexual pleasure through foreplay, kissing, and sensual touch. However, it also has to do with the larger picture of establishing trust, pleasure, and joy in the relationship as a whole. You may want to rush through and experience everything right now, but some things are worth the wait. However, there are some things you can do to help build the kind of trust that allows for greater intimacy and pleasure.

How to Increase Trust in Relationships

Trust develops organically in relationships, but it can also be cultivated through deliberate action. Here are some strategies for increasing trust in your relationship:

• Honesty is more than just not lying. Being honest means being open about your expectations, needs, and desires in the relationship. It expresses what’s on your mind and in your heart.
• Pleasure and joy are inextricably linked. Positive experiences contribute to the development of trust. Consider ways to bring more joy to the relationship, such as sharing common interests, dancing, cooking together, or anything.
• Self-healing. Because trust often boils down to you, you may need to do some self-healing work on yourself, which will then ripple out into your relationship. Therapy or EMDR, meditation, or even masturbation could be used.

Trust is a complicated subject, especially when it comes to how it manifests itself in our sexual lives. If this is a difficult area for you, congratulate yourself on starting to think about it. It can take time to learn to trust someone else as well as yourself.

So, be kind to yourself and enjoy the journey!