Sex is what keeps the world turning. Literally. It also causes your inner world to spin in circles, upside down and right side up. So, strap in. In all seriousness, your sexual life is one of the most important ways for you to find pleasure, connection, and fulfillment in your life. But it isn’t always that simple. There are numerous factors that can influence your sexual life and how you relate to your sexuality. One of the most essential factors is your self-esteem. When you’re intimate with someone or yourself, your internal processes, dialogue, and feelings towards yourself all come to the surface. All of these things contribute to your self-esteem. This, in turn, influences your sex life and how fulfilling it is.
How Confidence Affects Sexual Attraction
It may appear obvious, but sometimes we need to dig a little deeper to see what’s underneath, especially when it comes to sex and sexuality. So, how does self-esteem affect your sexual life? There are numerous ways, but here are a few that come to mind. When you aren’t confident in yourself, you may notice that you shut down a little. You may not express yourself in bed, say what’s on your mind, or vocalize your needs and desires.
A part of you might be afraid of being rejected, judged, or shot down. When your confidence is low, you may not only have difficulty expressing what you want, but you may also be out of touch with what makes you feel good. You go through the motions of your sex life, unsure of how to change things up. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re not fully present. Confidence is one of those things that you don’t realize you don’t have until you build it. Then you begin to notice the small and large ways you may have been concealing yourself and how this has affected your sex life.
It’s not just about communicating and hiding your emotions; low self-esteem can make you want to hide physically as well. This can prevent you from trying new sex positions, kinks, or other things. You might not be able to express yourself as freely as you would like. Sex and self-esteem are inextricably linked. Increased self-confidence can lead to better sex, but fulfilling sex can also boost your confidence.
What Matters Is What Is on the Inside
It may sound cliche, but what’s on the inside is more important than what’s on the outside. Confidence does not come from changing your appearance, hair removal, or makeup. It is an inner state of reverence and love for yourself that can only be fully realized through inner work. Although having your lashes done or washing your hair may make you feel better about yourself, self-confidence is a reflection of your mental health and how you feel about yourself overall.
Increasing Your Self-Confidence for Better Sex
Do you have an itch to become a more authentic, aligned, and confident version of yourself? You are not alone in this. We’ve got some pointers to help you boost your self-esteem for better sex and a better life.
- Physical activity. This increases endorphins and other happy hormones, which give you energy and help you feel at ease in your body and mind.
- Writing things out that are clogging up your mind helps to clear the way for new things to enter. When you journal, you can reflect on any negative thought patterns you have about yourself and help to reframe them.
- Masturbation, One of the best ways to reconnect with yourself and your needs before having sex with a partner is to practice self-love. It can flood you with hormones that make you feel better and remind you of your ability to bring pleasure into your life.
- Positive relationships. These are essential for feeling good about yourself. And not just romantic ones. Your relationships with friends, family, pets, and plants all help to reflect back to you how incredible you are. It doesn’t take much; even a couple of trustworthy friends can assist you in remembering how to be vulnerable and communicate.
- We occasionally require outside assistance. If you need an objective opinion on something in your life or assistance learning new coping mechanisms, it may be a good idea to seek out a mental health provider.
Everyone fluctuates. There are times when our faith wavers; this does not make you a failure—it makes you human. It’s normal to feel down or not feel like your best self at times. The best thing you can do is tell your partner about it. That vulnerability can give you a boost and make you feel better. Don’t forget that you’re beautiful on the inside and out!