The majority of humans are sexual beings. Sex is a fundamental way to experience pleasure, explore, and connect with not only other people but also with ourselves on a deep level. Sex allows us to connect with our creative sides, lift our moods, and feel amazing.

For most adults, sex is an essential part of life, and the better your sex life is, the better you feel overall. This is why it can be so difficult to be unhappy with your sex life. Life is unpredictable. People have children, get jobs, travel, and all sorts of other things that limit the amount of sex they can have. However, one factor frequently overlooked, particularly among women, is changes in libido.

Low libido or sex drive is a common occurrence in life. There are, however, steps you can take to get your sexual drive back on track. Although it is not for everyone, some women may benefit from libido-inducing medications. Are you ready to find out what your options are?

What Causes Libido Changes in Women?

Women and female-bodied people experience far more physiological changes in their lifetime than men. We are constantly shifting and changing as we go through periods, pregnancy, and menopause. Many of these are lovely and magical, but they can also cause unpleasant side effects such as mental health issues, low energy levels, and libido loss.

What Else Can Cause Women to Have Low Libido?

There are several other things can cause a woman’s libido to be low.

• Menopause
• Depression and anxiety are examples of mental health disorders.
• Certain medications, such as hormonal contraception and antidepressants
• Diseases and health issues
• Lactation and pregnancy
• Problems in your relationship
• Vaginismus and endometriosis are reproductive health issues.

As you can see (or have discovered for yourself), there are numerous factors that can influence your sexual drive. But that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. You have choices!

Who Takes Libido Pills?

Anyone with a chronically low sex drive may benefit from libido-increasing medications. Female sexual interest/arousal disorder is the medical term for women who have low libido (FSAID). This is more common in women who are perimenopausal or postmenopausal. According to one study, 3.3 percent of participants between the ages of 18 and 44 had female sexual arousal disorder, while 7.5 percent of those between the ages of 45 and 64 had it.

Libido medications are more commonly used by older people. They are also more likely to have physical health issues that affect their libido or to be taking medications that reduce their sexual drive. Regardless of age, everyone deserves to have the sex life they want.

Women’s Libido Medications

The types of libido medications available to you are determined by your location. Flibanserin and Bremelanotide are the two most commonly prescribed libido medications for women.

• Flibanserin is the generic name for Addyi, a libido-boosting medication for women who have not yet reached menopause. This pill is taken once a day before bedtime. Dizziness, nausea, fatigue, and low blood pressure are all possible side effects.
• Vyleesi is known by the generic name Bremelanotide. This injectable medication is intended for women who have not yet reached menopause. You inject the medication into your stomach or thigh right before sexual activity. Nausea, vomiting, headache, and a skin reaction where it was injected are all possible side effects.

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is commonly used in menopausal or postmenopausal women. It’s sometimes used to help with energy levels and osteoporosis, but it can also help with libido if it’s been compromised. HRT can help with vaginal dryness, atrophy, and overall sex drive. Some people who are not yet menopausal but may benefit from HRT include those with thyroid disorders, PCOS, and ovarian cancer.

Natural State

If you’ve had low libido for a long time, you’ve probably tried natural libido boosters. You don’t have to rely solely on medication. There are numerous lifestyle changes and natural supplements that can improve your libido.

Here are some natural methods for increasing libido:

• Oysters, bananas, chocolate, and figs are examples of foods
• Maca, shilajit, and damiana are examples of herbs
• Addressing underlying mental and physical health issues
• Stress levels are decreasing
• You’re experimenting with your sexual life
• Avoiding smoking and limiting alcohol consumption
• Improve your communication with your partner
• Slowing down and bonding activities to increase intimacy with your partner

Medication and natural remedies do not have to be mutually exclusive. The best approach to healing your sexual health is a holistic one that considers all factors influencing your sexual drive. This could include medication, couples therapy, increased physical activity, and stress-relieving activities.

Your Body, Your Decision

As with any other aspect of your health, deciding to take libido medication is a personal decision only you can make. Libido-increasing medications may improve your sex life and relationships, but every medication has potential side effects. It may be worthwhile to try a few lifestyle changes before resorting to pharmaceuticals, but you are the expert on your own body. Contact your OB/GYN for more information on your next steps.

Sexuality is a complicated and shameful topic, exacerbated by a complete lack of comprehensive sex education in the United States. As a result, many of us are left struggling to understand our sexuality on our own, which can be messy and frustrating. Furthermore, experiencing sexual shame on an independent level makes it difficult to internalize the fact that you aren’t the only one dealing with a particular problem. Recognizing that shame exists is the first step toward unlearning it, after which you can begin to unpack it. Let’s talk about some of the most common sources of sexual shame.

1. Inability to achieve orgasm in a specific manner or at all. This is more commonly discussed as a female issue (an estimated 10-15% of women experience orgasmic dysfunction), but anyone can struggle to achieve orgasm. Sexual trauma, age, hormones, mental and chronic illness, and certain medications are some potential causes of the problem. Whether or not there is a clear source of the problem, there is nothing wrong with you if you are having trouble achieving orgasm. The source of your shame is societal expectations and misinformation; your body is not inherently shameful, and you did nothing “wrong” to “deserve” this. Most importantly, you do not need to be able to orgasm to enjoy sex and masturbation.
2. Being interested in other sexual/sensual activities rather than intercourse. Penetrative sex is posited as the goal of sex in heteronormative sex expectations. Unfortunately, this excludes many people, such as queer people, people who have sexual dysfunction, or anyone who does not find pleasure in penetrative sex. It’s not only exclusionary, but it’s also limiting for everyone who has internalized that expectation. Once we are able to unlearn heteronormative sex expectations (easier said than done!), so many doors of sexual possibility open up. Intercourse is only one of many ways to have sex, and it is not the only “correct” way to have sex.
3. Having responsive desire as opposed to spontaneous desire. In general, there are two ways that people experience a desire to have sex. Responsive desire implies that someone frequently needs to experience physical arousal before experiencing mental desire, whereas spontaneous desire implies that someone frequently feels mental desire before experiencing physical arousal. The mainstream media and societal expectations portray spontaneous desire as the “norm,” leaving those with responsive desire feeling as if they are abnormal. They are not superior; they are simply different. If your desire type is incompatible with your partner(s), read this Embrace Sexual Wellness blog post on desire discrepancy.
4. Having sexual dysfunction or pain. Similarly to orgasmic dysfunction, it’s difficult not to feel “broken” when you experience sexual dysfunction or pain, especially if it prevents you from having the kind of sex you want. It’s natural to be sad about the fact that your body can’t do something you wish it could. At the same time, remember that you still deserve to have enjoyable sex and that it is still possible, even if it does not look the way you expected.

The limiting societal expectations and beliefs about sex are the source of the shame mentioned above. The issue is not with the individual but with the inaccurate and exclusionary ways we learn and discuss sex. You are not alone in your difficulties. If you are struggling to address your sexual shame on your own, consider contacting Embrace Sexual Wellness, and one of our sexuality professionals will gladly assist you.

Using someone’s proper pronouns* is a basic sign of respect. As a result, making every effort to use pronouns correctly is critical. When someone you care about changes their pronouns, it can be challenging to adjust. It’s important to remember that no one expects perfection, so using the incorrect pronoun is acceptable as long as you’re making an effort to be respectful. When a loved one discloses a pronoun change, use the following guidelines to help you navigate the conversation and be as supportive as possible.

1. Thank them for being open and honest with you. Even with loved ones, it is not always easy to be vulnerable and share your entire self. Let them know you still love them completely. Remember that your first reaction may influence their willingness to share sensitive information with you in the future. Aside from using their new pronouns, ask how you can best support them. Everyone is different, but the most important thing you can do is make an effort to use their new pronouns.
2. They should practice their pronouns. The more you practice, the more natural it will be to use them. You should practice using their pronouns both verbally and in writing. You can either speak aloud to yourself or meet up with someone else to talk. You could try writing a story about the person using new pronouns. If you practice these methods and still find it difficult to transition, consider why. Trying to reconceptualize the person in context with their new pronouns when you’ve previously thought of them in an entirely different way is a common roadblock. If this is the case, you may need to do some additional reading to unlearn this binary framework.
3. When you make a mistake, quickly apologize, correct yourself, and continue the conversation. Make no excuses or prolong your apology. Making a big deal about it is unpleasant for everyone involved. The steps outlined above demonstrate that you are making an effort.

Making a change like this can be frightening because you don’t want to make a mistake and hurt your loved one. Allow yourself some leeway in this regard; it is difficult to make a change to something that you haven’t already given conscious thought to. The only way to achieve this is through practice. When you consider how much practice you’ve had using this person’s previous pronouns, it’s understandable that it takes a lot of training to undo it. Be gentle with yourself, and it will soon become second nature.

Educational Resources

Here are some excellent resources for learning more about pronouns and proper usage:

• What Exactly Are Pronouns? Why Are They Important?
• Pronouns: A Guide from GLSEN
• Pronouns
• Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know About Gender-Neutral Pronouns
• Experts and People Who Use Neopronouns Explain How to Use Them
• Training Tips for Changing Your Pronouns for Someone You Care About
• Kirby Conrod’s Pronouns 102: How to Stop Misusing Pronouns

*The term “correct pronouns” is used rather than “preferred pronouns” because someone’s stated pronouns are a requirement, not a personal taste.

Your romantic life is a world of possibilities. One in which you can connect more deeply with yourself and your sexual partner (if you have one), be creative, and discover new levels of pleasure.

You may have tried kinky activities, anal sex, and, for the more daring couple, travel sex when it comes to exploring your sex life. Exploring your sex life can sometimes be less about fancy gadgets and gizmos (though those are fun, too) and more about unlocking different parts of yourself so you can sink deeper into your experience.

Tantra comes into play here. This may be a new term for you, or you may have heard it in Yoga classes or elsewhere in the new age scene. Tantra, on the other hand, is far from new. It can, however, allow you to enjoy the pleasure on a deeper level and even heal various parts of yourself.

What exactly is tantra, and how is it practiced? Let’s investigate.

Traditional Eastern Practice

Although most people associate tantra with sexual pleasure, this is not the case. Tantra is a philosophy that dates back to the sixth century in India. Tantra means ‘to weave’ or ‘to compose.’ Tantra is an instructional text that is often written as a dialogue between a god and goddess – not to be heteronormative; these practices can be used regardless of your sexual orientation.

Tantric texts were revolutionary because they taught that everything is sacred and touched on sensitive topics that other schools of thought considered impure or profane, such as sex and sexuality. They also talked about Yoga, meditation, and living more mindfully in general.

One of the reasons Tantra is commonly associated with sexual encounters is that it emphasizes the importance of divine feminine power, which deviated from the common perception of womanhood as passive and docile. Tantra is all about deep connection and energetic alchemy or expanding energy within your own and your partner’s bodies.

Much of the literature discusses the role of deeper connection, which is frequently expressed through sexual intercourse. While Tantra isn’t solely about sexual connection, it’s an exciting aspect of it and most likely why you’re reading this.

More Pleasure: Engage in Tantric Sex

So, how do you bring tantra into your sexual experience? The first step is to remove the pressure from yourself and examine the tantra from a distance. While tantra may appear esoteric and woo-woo, it is something anyone can learn.

Tantric sexual practice is about deep connection and energetic alchemy rather than doing things a certain way. It’s a tool for deepening your relationship with your partner (if you have one) and with yourself. Tantra encourages you to slow down, relax your entire body, practice breathing and mindfulness techniques, and simply be in the present moment.

Here are some tips for incorporating tantric practices into your sexual life:

• Make Room for a Tantra Session. Making a relaxing, intentional space allows you to immerse yourself in the moment even more. Clean up your room, light some candles, and do everything you can to make your sexual space feel like a sanctuary. Play some soothing music and fill the space with sexual energy. Prepare additional items that will aid in your relaxation, such as massage oil and candles, a feather for a gentle touch, and self-exploration. Intimacy will undoubtedly enhance the sexual experience.
• Energy Exchange. Tantric philosophy is concerned with worship and devotion. How can you incorporate worship into your sexual life? By being fully present and listening to what your partner wants, by enthusiastically giving them massages, oral sex, or whatever feels like an act of devotion to you.
• You can also follow our advice and go down on your knees while your partner sits in a chair. The mind-body connection is the first and most important step, so this will undoubtedly help you. Breathe deeply and then move closer to your partner’s legs. Start massaging their inner thighs with massage oil. Take note of your partner’s reactions. Deeply inhale and exhale as you move closer to your partner’s lap. Before you begin oral sex, spend some time massaging their legs and stomach. Do not rush; instead, extend sex as much as possible to increase erotic energy. This will lead to multiple orgasms for both of you.

Have a Tantric Experience

It takes time to develop pleasure. Tantra instructs you to slow down, shift your focus away from achieving orgasm, and pay attention to how pleasure and arousal build in each moment. The more you slow down and tune into it, the more you can feel the bodily sensations that come later during penetrative sex.

Pay Attention to Your Breathing Techniques

A deep breath is an excellent tool for slowing down, awakening dormant parts of your body, and connecting with your partner. You can try these breathwork exercises with or without your partner before sex.

Communicate and Connect

How can you connect more deeply with your partner if tantra is all about spiritual awakening and connection? Making eye contact is a good place to start, as is using your words and other verbal cues (like authentic moaning). Change your sex position and tell your partner what you want before, during, and after sex to avoid unspoken expectations between you.

Vulnerability

Tantra can bring a level of connection that requires vulnerability and a willingness to be open with your partner. Any position can be tantric, but the lotus, known as ‘Yab Yum’ in tantric text, increases vulnerability. This is where both partners sit up facing each other, with one on the other’s lap and their legs wrapped around each other. Kink is another sexual tool that necessitates vulnerability and can be used in conjunction with tantric sex.

While most of these suggestions appear to be for having sex with a partner, many can also be used alone. If you’re new to tantra, it’s a good idea to start with yourself before bringing on a partner.

Many of their practices overlap because Yoga is based on tantra. You can get more ideas from these yogic sex secrets. Tantra does not have to be enigmatic; at its core, it is simply a tool for exploring deeper and more profound levels of intimacy and connection.

There are numerous factors that influence the amount of sexual pleasure you can have, especially when another person is present. Your mood, stress levels, menstrual cycle stage, and, of course, your relationship with your sexual partner all work together to set the tone for your sex life.

Whether you’re having sex with a committed partner, a fun fling, or somewhere in between, the dynamic between you two is undeniably crucial in how much you get out of your sex life. Many factors contribute to that dynamic, including your expectations for each other and the relationship, how much you enjoy each other’s company, and, most importantly, trust.

Trust and sexual pleasure are inextricably linked. This may seem obvious, but there’s much more to the word “trust” than meets the eye. So, how does trust manifest itself in our sexual lives, and how can it be increased within a relationship? Let us investigate.

Understanding Sex and Trust

What comes to mind when you think of the word “trust” in the context of relationships? Keeping promises? Being able to trust someone? What about physical and emotional security? All of these are essential components of relationship trust, but there’s a lot more to the story.

Trust is more than just being able to rely on someone. On a deeper level, trust is the subtle ability to be completely present with someone. When you have a high level of trust in someone, you can bring your whole self to the table. Trust allows you to feel at ease with your partner; a different level of relaxation adds to pleasure and enjoyment.

Have you ever heard of a pleasure gap? It’s a term that describes the phenomenon in heterosexual relationships in which women are much less likely than men to orgasm regularly. Numerous factors contribute to this, the most significant of which is how women are treated in society and historically.

The female body usually requires a sense of fundamental trust and safety to fully open and relax. And while orgasms aren’t everything in sex, they’re certainly enjoyable. They not only feel great, but are much easier to achieve when you have a high level of trust in the person with whom you are having sex.

It Isn’t you, It’s Me

If you don’t completely trust your sexual partner, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are “untrustworthy,” but that you don’t feel comfortable completely opening up to them on some level. That doesn’t mean either of you is at fault, but rather that something in the dynamic is off.

When your sex life isn’t meeting your expectations, it’s easy to blame your partner or yourself, but it’s no one’s fault. If you’re having difficulty developing deep trust with a sexual or romantic partner, it could be due to unresolved traumas from any age. These events cause a disruption in your ability to connect with people on the level you desire, particularly in sexual or romantic relationships. A lack of trust is frequently caused by internal issues that manifest themselves in your relationship and, of course, your sex life.

Trust Takes Time to Develop

Even if you’re confident in yourself, trust doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to develop the level of trust that is often required for you to enjoy the type of pleasure you desire. When you devote time to nurturing this aspect of your relationship, it begins to foster a sense of safety and security. This, in turn, allows you to fully open up to this person in every way.

It takes time to build sexual pleasure through foreplay, kissing, and sensual touch. However, it also has to do with the larger picture of establishing trust, pleasure, and joy in the relationship as a whole. You may want to rush through and experience everything right now, but some things are worth the wait. However, there are some things you can do to help build the kind of trust that allows for greater intimacy and pleasure.

How to Increase Trust in Relationships

Trust develops organically in relationships, but it can also be cultivated through deliberate action. Here are some strategies for increasing trust in your relationship:

• Honesty is more than just not lying. Being honest means being open about your expectations, needs, and desires in the relationship. It expresses what’s on your mind and in your heart.
• Pleasure and joy are inextricably linked. Positive experiences contribute to the development of trust. Consider ways to bring more joy to the relationship, such as sharing common interests, dancing, cooking together, or anything.
• Self-healing. Because trust often boils down to you, you may need to do some self-healing work on yourself, which will then ripple out into your relationship. Therapy or EMDR, meditation, or even masturbation could be used.

Trust is a complicated subject, especially when it comes to how it manifests itself in our sexual lives. If this is a difficult area for you, congratulate yourself on starting to think about it. It can take time to learn to trust someone else as well as yourself.

So, be kind to yourself and enjoy the journey!

Masturbation and partnered sex each have their distinct appeals but did you know you can combine the two and mutually masturbate with your partner(s)? Mutual masturbation is the practice of two (or more) people masturbating in each other’s presence, either via video call or in the same room.

Some advantages of mutual masturbation include learning more about how your partner(s) prefer to be touched, being able to simultaneously orgasm, and the fact that it is nearly impossible to become pregnant or contract an STI. If you want to give it a shot, here are some suggestions for good positions when you’re together in person. You can also incorporate sex toys to take it to the next level, whether you’re in the same room or not. Another enjoyable way to structure your mutual masturbation is to watch porn together; this has the added benefit of sharing sexual interests by sharing your favorite porn.

Mutual masturbation can be a fun way to mix up your sex and masturbation routines, but it also has drawbacks. Many people struggle with performance anxiety when they try mutual masturbation. Masturbation is a vulnerable act typically performed alone, so it may take some adjusting to enjoy it in the company of another person.

Performance anxiety can occur in any type of sex, but mutual masturbation is particularly frightening for many people. Beyond the societally ingrained shame associated with enjoying sexual acts, being able to truly lean into and enjoy masturbating in front of others necessitates becoming comfortable with the intense vulnerability it implies. First and foremost, sit down with your partner(s) and lay out everyone’s concerns and insecurities on the table. The act of sharing these vulnerable thoughts can help you feel more at ease with the concept. One tangible step to combating performance anxiety is to have your partner and/or yourself wear a blindfold or turn off the lights. Another important way to relieve stress is not to expect an orgasm; it’s far more fruitful to focus on the pleasurable sensations and being in the moment—if an orgasm occurs, it’s a happy bonus. If you have trouble staying in the moment, read Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are to learn about sexual mindfulness.

And at last, mutual masturbation is another form of sexual collaboration with your partner(s), and it has the potential to bring you closer together, learn more about each other’s sexual likes and interests, and, over time, reduce sexual performance anxiety. As with any kind of sex, there is no right or wrong way to mutually masturbate as long as everyone is consenting and having a good time.

Despite recent innovations and explorations, the science of intimacy and sex remains largely untapped. There are numerous factors that influence intimacy, connection, pleasure, and everything else that constitutes our sexual lives. Without a doubt, the brain plays a significant role in how and when we connect with sexual partners, as well as the pleasure we experience with them. Have you ever tried to be intimate with someone with whom you didn’t have a mental or emotional connection? It may appear that something is simply missing. Despite our somewhat limited understanding of human neurology and sexuality, we have observed many fascinating phenomena—such as the mirror neuron system’s power and its role in sex.

What Exactly Are Mirror Neurons?

Mirror neurons were discovered in the macaque monkey approximately thirty years ago. Their discovery has sparked a massive debate about how we generate our actions and how we observe and interpret the actions of others (or primates). Scientists discovered the phenomenon when they noticed that the same neurons, or nerve cells, were fired when someone performed a specific action as when they observed it. Mirror neurons, according to the theory, help lay the groundwork for imitation learning, language development and evolution, emotional intelligence, and empathy. Mirror neurons assist primates, including humans, in understanding what is happening, why it is happening, and reproducing the same action. Consider a baby or toddler learning to speak, socialize, and interact with others. Mirror neurons play a significant role in this. So, how do they relate to sex?

What Exactly Is Mirror Neuron Sex?

Even if you aren’t the most scientifically savvy, you have lived experience of being a human and interacting with others. As a result, you can probably conclude that mirror neurons play a significant role in sexual behavior and interaction. One study conducted by Bangor University and Royal Holloway, University of London discovered a link between mirror neurons and sex, dubbed the ‘Erogenous Mirror.’ According to this theory, we subconsciously activate mirror neurons by touching our sexual partners where we want to be touched.

In this study, researchers asked participants from various demographics and sexual orientations to complete a questionnaire about their arousal levels when touched on specific areas of their body and in various sexual situations. This demonstrates a clear mirroring in their preferences for where they preferred to be touched versus where they preferred to touch their partners, lending credence to the idea of mirror neurons and their role in sex.

What Does This Imply?

The erogenous mirror theory also explains why we enjoy touching and looking during sexual encounters. According to the researchers who created it, we treat our partners’ bodies as if they were our own, blurring the lines between them and us. They propose that when our partners look at specific areas of our bodies, we may imagine or anticipate them touching us there. Unfortunately, as researchers go on to explain the differences between men and women, this research only reflects cis-gendered people in heterosexual dynamics so far. Nonetheless, they discovered distinct differences between the healthy men and women they observed. Specifically, when it came to the obvious sexual areas such as the genitals and nipples, men preferred to touch and examine their partners’ bodies more than the other way around.

Positive Results

While research on the connection between mirror neurons during sex and emotional relating is limited, there is most likely some sort of link. We pick up on emotional cues from our partner’s facial expressions, movement observations, and arousal responses. If mirror neurons play a role in the development of emotional intelligence as we grow and mature, it stands to reason that they will also play a role in our sexual evolution as individuals and with partners. Mirror neurons are one (large) piece of the puzzle that goes into how we relate to each other sexually.

There Are Several Degrees of Communication

Healthy sex life is heavily reliant on social interaction, emotional intelligence, and empathy. Reading and understanding your partner’s cues without them having to verbalize them – although all forms of communication are important. Being able to read and understand each other during sex is another step in sexual arousal; it is how we develop trust and strengthen relationships in order to have deeper connections and experience more pleasure. This emotional connection is one of the characteristics that distinguishes the human brain and being human. We’re hardwired to connect, mirror each other’s desires, and act on the signals we send each other subconsciously. That is why sex is said to begin with brain activity. That is insanely cool. Even with mirror neurons, your partner (most likely) cannot read your mind. This is why it is critical to ask for what you want in bed and maintain an open dialogue about your sexual life.

Sex is what keeps the world turning. Literally. It also causes your inner world to spin in circles, upside down and right side up. So, strap in. In all seriousness, your sexual life is one of the most important ways for you to find pleasure, connection, and fulfillment in your life. But it isn’t always that simple. There are numerous factors that can influence your sexual life and how you relate to your sexuality. One of the most essential factors is your self-esteem. When you’re intimate with someone or yourself, your internal processes, dialogue, and feelings towards yourself all come to the surface. All of these things contribute to your self-esteem. This, in turn, influences your sex life and how fulfilling it is.

How Confidence Affects Sexual Attraction

It may appear obvious, but sometimes we need to dig a little deeper to see what’s underneath, especially when it comes to sex and sexuality. So, how does self-esteem affect your sexual life? There are numerous ways, but here are a few that come to mind. When you aren’t confident in yourself, you may notice that you shut down a little. You may not express yourself in bed, say what’s on your mind, or vocalize your needs and desires.

A part of you might be afraid of being rejected, judged, or shot down. When your confidence is low, you may not only have difficulty expressing what you want, but you may also be out of touch with what makes you feel good. You go through the motions of your sex life, unsure of how to change things up. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re not fully present. Confidence is one of those things that you don’t realize you don’t have until you build it. Then you begin to notice the small and large ways you may have been concealing yourself and how this has affected your sex life.

It’s not just about communicating and hiding your emotions; low self-esteem can make you want to hide physically as well. This can prevent you from trying new sex positions, kinks, or other things. You might not be able to express yourself as freely as you would like. Sex and self-esteem are inextricably linked. Increased self-confidence can lead to better sex, but fulfilling sex can also boost your confidence.

What Matters Is What Is on the Inside

It may sound cliche, but what’s on the inside is more important than what’s on the outside. Confidence does not come from changing your appearance, hair removal, or makeup. It is an inner state of reverence and love for yourself that can only be fully realized through inner work. Although having your lashes done or washing your hair may make you feel better about yourself, self-confidence is a reflection of your mental health and how you feel about yourself overall.

Increasing Your Self-Confidence for Better Sex

Do you have an itch to become a more authentic, aligned, and confident version of yourself? You are not alone in this. We’ve got some pointers to help you boost your self-esteem for better sex and a better life.

• Physical activity. This increases endorphins and other happy hormones, which give you energy and help you feel at ease in your body and mind.
• Writing things out that are clogging up your mind helps to clear the way for new things to enter. When you journal, you can reflect on any negative thought patterns you have about yourself and help to reframe them.
• Masturbation, One of the best ways to reconnect with yourself and your needs before having sex with a partner is to practice self-love. It can flood you with hormones that make you feel better and remind you of your ability to bring pleasure into your life.
• Positive relationships. These are essential for feeling good about yourself. And not just romantic ones. Your relationships with friends, family, pets, and plants all help to reflect back to you how incredible you are. It doesn’t take much; even a couple of trustworthy friends can assist you in remembering how to be vulnerable and communicate.
• We occasionally require outside assistance. If you need an objective opinion on something in your life or assistance learning new coping mechanisms, it may be a good idea to seek out a mental health provider.

Everyone fluctuates. There are times when our faith wavers; this does not make you a failure—it makes you human. It’s normal to feel down or not feel like your best self at times. The best thing you can do is tell your partner about it. That vulnerability can give you a boost and make you feel better. Don’t forget that you’re beautiful on the inside and out!

Any sexually explicit literary or artistic work is considered “erotica.” It can be a useful tool for exploring sexual interests either alone or with a partner or partners. Erotica can be a book, a short story, an audio clip, a drawing, or anything else. Whatever you’re into, erotica is a part of it. Sharing erotica with a partner has several advantages aside from being a fun addition to masturbation. Erotica can:

• Teach you what excites you and your partner. Whatever your sexual interests are, erotica is a great way to expand your imagination about what pleasure looks like for you. Furthermore, if you find it difficult to talk about what you like in bed, you can share a piece of erotica to explain what you mean.
• Increase sexual and emotional intimacy. Sharing sexual desires is a risky act. One of the best ways to foster emotional intimacy and connection with your partner(s) is to be vulnerable with them.
• Provide motivation. Whether you’re still in the honeymoon phase with your partner(s) or have been together for years, there’s always room to improve your sex life. Perhaps you have a fantasy you’d like to act out or a fetish you’d like to try; it may be difficult to find and share the words to describe your sexual fantasies and interests, which is where having an exemplar comes in handy. Sharing erotica that resonated with you with your partner(s) provides valuable insight into what you like in bed.
• Normalize the effect of erotica on arousal. Unfortunately, we have all been socially conditioned to regard sexuality as taboo, even if our individual values do not support that label. This means that even if you understand logically that sexual desire is not shameful, it can be difficult to share something you’ve been conditioned to keep private, such as a piece of erotica you enjoy. The more you discuss it with your partner, the more normal it will feel.

Sources to Share

Erotica is an excellent tool to use in your relationship (s). If you want to learn more about erotica, check out the resources listed below. Enjoy your reading, listening, and sharing!

• Short stories
  • Literotica
  • Bellesa
  • LushStories
  • Novel Trove
• Books
  • 14 Erotic Novels That Won’t Make You Cringe: PureWow
  • The 55 Most Erotic Books You Will Ever Read
• Audio
• Dipsea
• &Jane
• Kampsite

It’s a lot of fun to be in a human body—one that can provide pleasure, connection, and, of course, orgasms. Your sex life is a place for experimentation and new experiences. Most people believe that female bodies can only orgasm via vulvar or vaginal stimulation, but we’re here to prove them wrong. While the scientific jury is still out on this, many people have self-reported having various types of orgasms. They experience them in their clitoris, g-spot, cervix, anus, and even their breasts. Orgasms in the breast? You must have heard us. Some claim to be able to orgasm solely through breast stimulation. If you’re stuck in an orgasm rut or want to branch out in your sex life, it might be time to investigate the world of breast orgasms. How exciting! Orgasms from various parts of the body can feel very different. People who have had nipple or breast orgasms often describe them as powerful waves that sneak up on them slowly and then explode.

Exploring Breast Orgasms

People who have breast orgasms usually get them from nipple stimulation. Your nipples, like your clitoris and vagina, are major erogenous zones or areas that stimulate sexual desire. The nipples, like your genitals, are full of nerve endings—the same nerve endings that help you have clitoral orgasms. When these nerve endings fire, they send signals to the genital sensory cortex, telling it that it’s time to wake up. MRIs have revealed that clitoral and nipple stimulation stimulates the same area of the brain. Of course, everything is interconnected! If you have sensitive nipples, you’ve probably been turned on by having them rubbed, sucked on, twisted, or whatever tickles your fancy. What if you took it a step further and got to the big-O solely through nipple play? Set the mood as you would before engaging in other sexual activities. Whatever that means for you and your partner – taking a bath (possibly together), dimming the lights, massage, dirty talk, whatever. Allow yourself to relax and stimulate your mind by fantasizing, watching, or listening to porn if that is your thing.

Some experts believe that by stimulating different areas of your body, you can train your brain to orgasm. For example, you could orgasm normally by stimulating yourself through your clitoris. You would also stimulate your breasts at the same time. You stop stimulating your clitoris but continue to stimulate your breasts right before you orgasm. Their theory is that by using this method, you can train yourself to orgasm from different parts of your body over time.

It may not be comfortable for everyone, but you can try using toys as a vibrator on your breasts and nipples. Some manufacturers create toys specifically for nipple stimulation. Toys aren’t the only tools at your disposal; try a body oil or lube to help things slip and slide. You can even try ice to add a thrilling new sensation to the mix. Slow down and concentrate on your breathing. The deeper the sensations you can feel, the more you can tap into your breath. Experiment with various techniques and sensations. Squeeze and massage your breasts, and draw lines over your areolas. If you have a partner, have them experiment with their mouth and tongue by nibbling, sucking, and biting them. When you’re really aroused, you can increase the speed and sensation over the actual nipple, possibly even pinching them. Having a breast orgasm may be easier during your period or even during pregnancy when your nipples are more engorged and sensitive. Just be gentle!

Show Off Your Best Breast

As with many new sexual arenas, it is sometimes preferable to explore nipple orgasms alone during solo sex before involving a partner. You’ll be able to tell them exactly what you want and how they can get you to the tipping point. Breast orgasms are not limited to female-bodied individuals. Cis-men and people born with penises can also experiment with nipple stimulation and have nipple orgasms. While it’s fun to experiment with different types of pleasure and sensation, remember to ease up on yourself. Your sex life is not a place for perfectionism; it is a place for connection and feeling great in your own skin.

Experiment with breast stimulation without any hurry or goal in mind. Take your attention away from orgasms and focus on the extraordinary sensations you’re having in your body. It can take some time to get used to a nipple orgasm, especially if it’s your first time. Allow yourself 20 to 30 minutes of exploration time. There’s no need to rush. Remember to take your time, be gentle (or not), have fun, and enjoy yourself!